tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83544714211647027022024-03-14T00:14:01.864-04:00RxRNBack in school...what was I thinking? First semester. Trying to figure out what I am doing. MSN?Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-2557939002656169042010-04-05T13:56:00.001-04:002010-04-05T15:49:30.369-04:00<OBJECT id=BLOG_video-FAILED class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="FAILED"></OBJECT>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-45999280014317679752010-01-14T17:04:00.002-05:002010-01-14T17:25:22.792-05:001-14-10<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41oFRAPn-jL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41oFRAPn-jL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I had a post earlier this month, but who knows where it went? Like much of my life, I'm wonder where it went. I guess it is in cyberspace somewhere.LOL<br /><br />Today I entered another phase of work. I attended a Magnet meeting. Evidently we will meet once a month for 2 hours for the next two years. The goal is to help the hospital get recredited as a Magnet Hospital. This is all about the nurses, as Magnet status means that we are a great place to work, with self governance, etc. What is doesn't mean is that we are well paid or well taken care of by our employer, or well treated by doctors. That would be nice. However, we do have some great doctors, I'm happy to say.<br /><br />Back to the meeting. I'm not sure why I was asked to attend, participate in the meeting...new blood - that's my theory. I'm not sure how much I will want to, be able to, am willing to contribute to the process. It will make me better known in the hospital (is that good?)<br /><br />To tell you the truth, I'm still often overwhelmed and scared by what I do at work. Sometimes I just feel like I don't know anything about my job and I lack the confidence to make a difference. Sometimes I feel great about what I do. If only I could get the IV's started the first time ALL the time! sigh.<br /><br />Back to the meeting. Okay, it was my day off, and I had to leave at 8 to be there by 9. I was there until 11:30 and home again after 12. I'm working on the committee that helps to put the paperwork together for the magnet organization to review to see whether or not we qualify for Magnet status in 2012. We need 8 quarters of data, which means they are collecting info from the 3th and 4th quarters of 2009 and continuing on through the middle of 2011. Last time the book was 300 pages thick! Hopefully it will be shorter this time. <br /><br />Interesting side note: The visitation for Magnet last time (which was the first time) was while I was a student at this hospital, so I remember it well. It's a strange thing, to have had a tiny part in it.<br /><br />Anyway, one of the goals this month is to come up with a theme for the process. Since all the nurses are to be a part of this, they want something that will encourage participation. The idea of a journey has been presented. Like a nurse on rollerskates (not sure the symbolim of that?) or a train (last time it was ..."get on board") or some other mode of transportation. <br /><br />My thoughts today brought me to the quote by Ghandi "You need to BE the change you wish to see in the world" I like BE THE CHANGE, but so do a lot of other organizations. This has nothing to do with transportation, but I still like it. I like lots of inspirational quotes. Seems like we could find something amoung them? <br /><br />Rollerskates? "Get a roll on", "Rolling along"???<br /><br />Or, the other thing I thought of was "Caring for Life" as a nursing theme....since that is what we do, who we are. Um, I was trying. We'll see what comes about for next month.<br /><br />My last concern was that so much of the time we were talking about what we can do to get our overall satisfaction up at the hospital as measured by HCAPs. And I'm thinking, what is it that the #1 hospital does that we don't do (we are #131). What do they do differently from us? That is where I want to look. Can we emulate them?<br /><br />So I've ordered a new book from Amazon called The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawandi. I'm interested to see what he has to say about what we do in the hospital and who we can improve our processes. Maybe next month I will bring up something from his book and pass on the idea of simply using checklists to improve outcomes? We'll see.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-79206929209202488152010-01-02T20:34:00.001-05:002010-01-02T20:34:19.068-05:00Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-35693074566797471752009-12-05T20:33:00.002-05:002009-12-05T20:43:16.720-05:00*S*N*O*W*<em>Today it snowed for the first time this winter. It was wonderful. I got to play with my camera a little bit, too. I did have to drive B to work, which sucked, as I was getting sploshed from all the other cars, and I was almost out of gas, and when I filled up at the gas station I had to wait in line, and on the way back I almosted skidded into another car. But I got home safely.</em>
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<br /><em>I have some photos I posted on Facebook. Here is one I like, or not. I'm not having any success uploading the photos right now. I'll try later (or not).</em>
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<br /><em>I have now completed 7 credits in my MSN program. Yee Haw! I have 6 more to complete before the end of the month. That means one BIG paper (about 1/2 done) and one more proctored test. I got my webcam up and running today, which is why I got the test done. I'm hoping to take the other test next week (please God). Then finish the paper and submit my paperwork for reimbursement at work. That will help!</em>
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<br /><em>On the sadder side of things, my good friend A.S. had to have his arm and shoulder amputated because of cancer. Just too hard to think about much. M.C. called to see if I knew anything about job openings at my hospital. We could use a good labor nurse, but she is used to making a whole lot more money than we pay. It would be great to see her again, though. </em>
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<br />The fam and I watched Jumper on Netflix yesterday. Cool movie. I am looking forward to reading the books (if I get the chance!)
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<br />I'm on nights the beginning of next week. Bummer. But at least I have some days off. I hope to get a couple of short shifts in for baby nurse, or a home birth or two to cover the expenses from new glasses and new tires for the car. Why is everything so expensive? Why are there no jobs for the men in my house?
<br />Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-81463930308027630212009-11-17T22:13:00.002-05:002009-11-17T22:19:00.926-05:00TuesLONG day at work. I was baby nurse for 5 babies, but I was working with one primary labor pt (who delivered about 5:30 pm, one antepartum (trying not to deliver until Thurs), as well as watching another pt for someone who was pushing for a couple of hours and needed eyes on their pt for awhile. LONG day!<br /><br />Oh, and I trouble shot the accudose computer when it screwed up. No lunch. 13 hours straight. I worked hard and I did will. Mostly I didn't forget too much (or I haven't remembered yet if I forgot anything).<br /><br />And I'm not working tomorrow!!!!! Yippee!!<br /><br />Pretty much no time to sit and do anything the whole day, just run, run, run. My lips are chapped (don't know who that fits into this, but I am thinking it comes from either not drinking enough or just having such a dry environment???)<br /><br />Oh, I'm going to bed now. '-O (yawn)Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-7439289462160457772009-11-15T19:46:00.003-05:002009-11-15T19:52:41.261-05:00NovemberIn a perfect world....<br /><br />...my husband would not still be unemployed<br /><br />....my work schedule would never be more than 2 days a week<br /><br />...I could still be in BirthPartners attending home and BC births<br /><br />...I would weigh a lot less<br /><br />...my husband would make enough money that we could pay our bills<br /><br />...no cars would ever need new tires, new transmissions, new points (or I could just buy a new car when all those things need to be replaces!)<br /><br />...my house would be clean<br /><br />...I would eat salads everyday and enjoy them!<br /><br />...I would win in Scrabble every once in a while<br /><br />...Christmas would be in the summer, when there is more daylight in the day<br /><br />...being older wouldn't mean that I have to get stronger and stronger glasses<br /><br />...I could still go to yoga classes once or twice a week<br /><br />...my kids would get all A's every semester (and no D+s)<br /><br />...I would not be in school, except to teach, and I'd love my students/classes/peers/boss<br /><br />Okay, that's enough to todayAudreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-22185935559689547072009-10-10T14:13:00.002-04:002009-10-10T14:22:20.948-04:00October updateI hate working nights! It's hard to stay awake night after night and then, when I do get home, all I do is SLEEP!<br /><br />I worked 3 nights last week, and a fourth if you count the lovely homebirth prior to the first 12 hour night shift. Okay, I slept most of yesterday and a large chunk of today. I'm done with sleeping for now, but I have so much work to catch up on.<br /><br />Like finding my phone. Um, opps!<br /><br />And then there is the test I was suppose to take for my Nursing Theory class, which I failed the pretest for, twice. Can we say ouch! "OUCH!"<br /><br />I'm not a stupid person. Really, I'm not. I have a fairly high IQ and I understand the basics of learning...so how come I can't pass the learning theory portion of this test? I hate this.<br /><br />I hate a lot of my life right now, but I guess that is just complaining, so I'll stop.<br /><br />I miss the home school, home birth, time on my hands days of the past. I miss being able to plan my day and having some control over my life. I miss having a husband who works and kids who are home. I miss the 'ideal' homelife...which never was true to begin with, but I miss the thought of it. I don't even dream of the ideal any more. I just don't dream much at all. Mostly, I just work and recover from working. I clean when I can. I shop for food and cook when I'm home. I lament what is lost and try to embrace what is here now.<br /><br />I also miss my bud.<br /><br />My dd N moved to Norfolk. My ds B is now on such a good track that I'm amazed and stupified. Just lacking a job, but all other areas of his life as so on the right path that I'm confident the rest will fall into place soon. This is one HUGE burden lifted (somewhat!)<br /><br />I am wishing that my dh would find steady work. I have almost given up all hope of this, but I'm trying to believe that things will change, someday. Soon. Please!<br /><br />With that, I will end. So much for October 2009.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-82709498316445774802009-09-13T04:36:00.002-04:002009-09-13T04:43:14.912-04:00Another day, week, month, yearEvery heard of the pioneer woman? She has a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">fascinating</span> website. Well worth reading, if you are into that sort of stuff. My problem is that is it hard not to be a little bit jealous of her life. It's not perfect, I admit, but she does seem to have a lot that anyone in their right mind would also want.<br /><br />I try not remembering when I had a life that was easier than the one I have now. I try hard to not complain, even inwardly. I wish I was the godly woman who is alway grateful, even admist the hard times. But I struggle with that. I am grateful for food, shelther, health, clothing, family, transportation, job. I am. I just wish I didn't have to carry the burden alone. I really am lazy. Truth is out. I'd rather have a day or two to just not be burdened with life and living and just live. A walk in the woods would be nice. I picinic maybe. Pay all my bills at one time, instead of avoiding those nasty phone calls.<br /><br />Oh well. Maybe someday. I'm trying hard to not be consumer minded. Yes, I'd love a new chair in the living room, but that space that is empty now will have a chair someday. And I'd love to have new carpet in the family room. Twenty-one years later and that carpet isn't looking too good. But I can't do either of those things now. I keep wondering if I could rip up the carpet and somehow paint the floor board underneath? Maybe the old stained carpet better stay awhile longer.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-53418857561902624962009-08-27T13:53:00.002-04:002009-08-27T14:07:51.151-04:00Overwhelmed by lifeSometimes I just want to give up and throw in the towel, ya know?<br /><br />Today I started out by sleeping in. I do need to catch up on sleep now and then, but I think I'd be better off not sleeping in (at least too long!) on days that I'm not getting up at 5:00AM!<br /><br />I had a pretty good day at work yesterday, all things considered. I started two new labor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pts</span>, helped one lady try for a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">VBAC</span> (she ended up with w c/s at 7 pm, after all day of labor and no change in her cervix). I helped a 19 yo gal who came in already in labor (my favorite types) and one who was having her 5<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span> who had high <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">BP's</span> and needed to be induced (for the next day). All in all I didn't have much time to do anything but work. Which is fine with me. I had two challenging events, both of which I managed promptly and correctly. I was happy to have the time to eat lunch! Last night I was pretty tired, but didn't go right to bed.<br /><br />As I said, I got up late today. Turns out that my dd N is moving out of her apt today for real. My <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">dh</span> went in for the last load of stuff to store at my mom's house this afternoon and will be home soon. Then s-i-l will be here for dinner. N is in NYC and will be back tonight or tomorrow. The rent a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Uhaul</span> truck on Saturday and will pack and leave on Sunday AM. All good, as long as they get the apt. in Norfolk they put the deposit on. No back up plan, so I hope it goes well.<br /><br />Then dd J is having both a soccer and a field hockey tournament this weekend. She is playing on Varsity and will be in games tomorrow and Saturday for the hockey and supposed to be at the tourney for soccer on Sat and Sunday. Conflict? I think so! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Dh</span> is working on Friday at the concession stand for our "parent" time involvement for the team. Always more time to commit than there is time!<br /><br />I, foolishly?, committed myself to worship practice tonight, a seminar on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Midlife</span> issues with Paul Tripp on Friday night and Sat morning (Okay, at the time it seemed like a good idea???). So I don't think I will see any of the tournament for field hockey at all. Sunday soccer games I can do, IF they aren't all in the morning during church.<br /><br />Phew. Then there is the court date tomorrow for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ds</span> B, who doesn't have a lawyer, b/c he hasn't paid him from the last time, yet. And he could end up in ADC, again. So sad for him, but I can't live his life. He makes it so hard on himself. I just don't get it.<br /><br />Oh, and I am suppose to be working on my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">MSN</span>, writing a paper on nursing theory or something. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Argh</span>.<br /><br />Friends? I don't remember what it was like to talk to a friend. Work is pretty all <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">consuming</span> when I'm there. I am getting evaluated this week (or next?) for my 6 month plan, but I will need to figure out what I am suppose to do about that later. Hopefully I will be a small raise. Who knows?<br /><br />I heard something on the radio yesterday. They said that research shows that until workers achieve a 4 to 1 ratio of praise to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">criticism</span> they don't feel appreciated at work. Interesting. Does that apply to families, too?<br /><br />Needless to say, I am feeling overwhelmed, again. Hopefully I will survive and get on with my life! HA HA<br /><br />Pool time anyone?<br /><br />Oh, and I need to run J to the chiropractor this afternoon. Don't know when she will get some driving lessons/practice time....<br /><br />The cat seems pretty happy, as long as we remember to feed her. :-)Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-38908438641470964272009-08-11T18:01:00.003-04:002009-08-11T18:05:59.823-04:00August 2009Well, I see that I now have all of one follower to this blog (HI P!) but that's okay. I really didn't start this to get followers. I'm running out the door right now for a night at the hospital (7pm - 7am). I'm trying to figure out what I am doing about the whole school thing. I've started the process of getting the MSN, but I'm not sure if that is what I really want to do or not. It's all still in process at this moment. Too many things to think about.... Mostly, I don't want my life to end up like it is now for a long period of time! I need to get a little more balance. I MISS being home for more than a day at a time. (sigh) And I miss nice births out of the hospital (sign, again). I'm so happy I got those births in July that I got (just wish they had been spaced out a little!!)<br /><br />And, more than anything right now, I wish dh had a job!!!! You can't imagine the stress of not having steady work for 10 months. Seems like a lifetime. But, amazing as it seems, we are still more or less okay as far as paying most of the bills. That's just God's grace to us.<br /><br />Well, I have to go to work. I hope nothing exciting happens. I hope I don't have any c/sections to circulate in.... I hope!Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-91938585857122951712009-07-25T13:46:00.002-04:002009-07-25T14:10:00.560-04:00July 25Well, I am moving forward on the whole <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">MSN</span> degree program, mostly because I want to take advantage of the financial reimbursement available to me while I'm working at a hospital. I don't see myself staying past my commitment, unless something changes for the better. I like it well enough, but birth should be better than this (and I've seen 'the better' I speak of).<br /><br />Yes, I am making a difference in the lives of the women I help. I know that my care is good, and I can help them. But the system is broken and I can't fix it. I can only work within the constraints that exist. Perhaps when Kaiser docs get on board things will be different. Better? Worse? Stressful? Yes, I am expecting all of that. We are not sure the exact date, but things will change whenever it happens.<br /><br />I did help a mom have a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">VBAC</span> yesterday, of which I am happy to report. She really didn't want a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">VBAC</span> and was scheduled for a repeat C/S next week...but her water broke and her labor was fast. And both <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">OR's</span> were busy with cases and her doc and backup doc were both doing other procedures. So I took care of her and URGED her to labor on and helped talk her through the contractions. She didn't even get an epidural (holding out for the spinal/epidural for the surgery). She was 7 cm when I checked her and complete not long after. I was like, um, why don't you empty your bladder and we can walk across the hall to a labor room. I knew she was complete and we could maybe get the baby to move down enough with a couple of pushes, until it was just going to happen.<br /><br />She was a great pusher and we had the baby in the labor room a few minutes after the doctor came in. This doc is pretty cool with stuff, but was more than willing to do a repeat c/s if the client wanted it. She wanted it, but I was trying to tell her that she didn't need it. I was SO happy for her having the baby vaginally, without the epidural! I'm not sure she realized how much better the whole thing was going to be for her after the birth, but I hope she appreciated it.<br /><br />I wasn't the best nurse, but I think I was a good labor coach. I suppose I will always be better at that than my 'nursing' skill. It took me two tried to get her IV in. And I made a mess and got blood on my hand. I was not the most skillful at those things. But I got everything done and I did get all my paperwork completed. She was really a great <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">birther</span>. Too bad the first was breech and she never labored with him.<br /><br />Anyway, it's hard for me to work with people too afraid to believe in their body doing what it is suppose to do. She really didn't believe she could have a baby without surgery. I'm glad it worked, but I'm not sure she really wanted it to or not. It just did.<br /><br />So, why don't I go on to be a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">CNM</span>? Mostly because I can't afford to go to those schools. It's WAY more expensive than the school I'm currently applying for. I can get the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">MSN</span> in nursing education for about $12,000 total, and most of that the hospital will pay for as I go along. It's all online and I can move at my own pace. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">CNM</span> school is over $15,000 a semester. And I don't know how I would end up working in the end. Of course I'd rather do home births, but there is little support for that and I would be on call a lot. I've lived like that way too much.<br /><br />A perfect practice would be home births with other midwives and working hours that would allow off time. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">BCWH</span> midwives hardly ever have time off. And they don't make very much money, either. S is doing well, and trying to get her practice going. I think she has a good approach...yet she discouraged me <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">every time</span> I see her. She says I'm too old to begin as a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">CNM</span>. That's not helpful.<br /><br />P. is now taking care of over 80 clients a year. And she charges more the BC. She is grossing around $320,000. I have no idea what her work hours are like. I can't imagine she has much time off. I wonder if she has someone doing her billing? paperwork? appointment schedules? Really, it would be hard to maintain all that.<br /><br />Well, enough of my random thoughts for the day. B. did ask me where I wanted to be in the end of all of this, and I can't answer. Maybe teaching college? Seems like a noble thing. Maybe not.<br />I just wish B. would get a job again. That would make things a bit easier to sort out. I could, then, maybe take the classes I really want to take, but until then, I am taking the next best pathway. I need to have a regular, reliable income. We need insurance. I never intended to be the primary (only) wage earner in my home. It's hard, ya know? But what other option is there?<br /><br />Guess we will make it on less than $50,000 this year...and that's a family of 5. God is good, I can't explain it any other way. When I try to budget it out, it never works. We just have to keep pressing on and hope for better times. I am grateful whenever the cars don't break down and no one is sick. The thought of actually getting ahead is just laughable. Treading water is okay, though. At least as long as one's head is above the water.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-4403401403641573062009-07-11T13:54:00.000-04:002009-07-11T14:04:50.590-04:00July 11I met with my good friend Suzette yesterday. Boy, was that fun! She and I both went through the RN Second Degree program together. It's amazing how much we have in common now that we are both working full time in the hospital(s). She is at Sibley, so it's a bit different for her. She wants to do some medical mission trip next summer sometime. I'd like that too. Or maybe in the winter, to some warm climate???<br /><br />I'm working a ton this week. Mostly because so many people are gone....either on vacation/birth/marriage/quit or otherwise unavailable to work. They fired a few people upstairs, so I'm going to work there for 8 hours tonight (extra). I worked 6 hours extra on Wednesday. I think that will give me 50 hours this week. Still, it's harder to work 3 12's than 5 days with some 6 or 8 hours segments. I'm on until Tuesday morning, though, so that's not great. But then I'm off next weekend from Friday through Monday. Yippee that.<br /><br />Work has begun on the whole Masters in Nursing project. I've still got to get my FAFSA filled out and a couple of things faxed to the school. I've applied for a scholarship, which would be $600 a semester ($1200 a year). I also found out that the possible match from work is $3000 a year. That would be pretty fine for this year (the tuition for one semester is $3k). But next year, it would only cover half of the tuition (still pretty fine, if you ask me!) My only concern at this point is that they might not give me tuition reimbursement while I'm still getting payback for my expenses from nursing school (BSN). But I'm not going to bring it up. I've not seen anything that says you can get both at the same time, so why point it out? If there is a policy, I'm sure they will tell me!<br /><br />My first class will start Aug 1st, if I can pay the tuition by the 25th of July. Needless to say, the extra time now is a bit easier to do (work wise) and the money will be handy. Once I'm in school again, I don't think I could pull off extra hours on the floor (working in the hospital).<br /><br />Well, my break from sleeping today is over, I'm going to try to go back to sleep so I can be up from 7 pm to 3 am (plus commuting time) tonight. Got to love the Critical Needs list....$50 bonus for every 4 hours worked, plus time and 1/2 and weekend night differential. Yummmm.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-30066130767925950152009-06-08T22:10:00.002-04:002009-06-08T22:22:07.953-04:00OrientationI haven't posted in a while, mostly because I've been too busy. I am working 36 a week, recovering about the same amount and that hasn't left me with a whole lot of extra time on my hands. It has, though, been paying my mortgage and food and electric bills.<br /><br />I don't go to yoga anymore. I miss it a whole bunch, but it just seems like I'm thinking of it at all the wrong times, or I'm sleeping in or at work or trying to catch up on sleep, or something. Yeah, I know it's more excuses than anything else. I just need to make myself go and be done with it.<br /><br />I have a couple of home births to attend (if I'm not at work) and I really, really, really want to do them. It's SO nice to see people give birth without all the drugs and manipulation that we do in the hospital. I used to feel okay about all that, but it's starting to get on my nerves. I'm almost ready to just stay in the OR all the time and not do the vag births at all. But I don't have that option. I have to be wherever and do whatever I'm told.<br /><br />I kind of liked to postpartum floor. I can do that work pretty easily. Still, it's all work. Some days are definitely better than others. I'm hoping that this week I will have a couple of good nights.<br /><br />I've also gone on the website at work and found the Western Governor University website. This is the first online university that was accredited. It was started by 13 Western state Governors who wanted to provide certain degree programs for students off campus. It is a nonprofit school and doesn't have any traditional classrooms, but works through online stuff and mentors. I'm not sure how it all works out, but I'm talking to them this week. My company is one of the private businesses that supports the school. I think there are 35 companies that are backers of the school. Anyway, I figure that if my work wants to pay the tuition, I can take classes towards a Master's degree in nursing. Not sure what I want with that, but I have to work for two years and I'm not ready to do midwifery school yet (or ever? I don't know). I like the education setting and would consider working in an environment that would allow me to teach nursing, I think. I'm not sure, but I'm looking into it.<br /><br />The midwifery schools are VERY expensive. Like $50,000 a year. I'm not into that. In any event, I know that I must keep working very hard to be good at what I do, so I keep doing all that I can to be successful. I do feel like I'm missing something, all the time. Like there is something else that I was suppose to be doing, but I forgot. I'm trying to be organized, but it is very hard when the schedule changes all the time. After this next schedule, I'm going to try and see if I can put myself on a schedule that stays the same....Maybe Friday nights and Monday/Tuesday days? That might work. I really don't know yet. It's just to weird.<br /><br />I am looking forward to taking that week off in Mass. Not sure what we are going to do while there, but just not having to be up at 5:15 AM or working all night will be nice. :-)Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-44704330873990467522009-02-10T00:27:00.001-05:002009-02-10T00:29:36.100-05:00things that are difficultIt is difficult to work for 12 hours straight. Who thought up this one???<br /><br />It is difficult to not eat because you are tired and worked 12 hours straight.<br /><br />It is difficult to remember where one put one's phone in the night before the 12 hours shift, and really difficult to remember after that shift. It didn't just turn up.<br /><br />It is difficult being the newbie and not wanting to look it. Hates that.<br /><br />It is hard to remember why one wanted to become a nurse in the first place. Certainly not the money, right? It sucks.<br /><br />It IS nice to get paid, but difficult to wait another 2 weeks for the next paycheck.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-35462427592166754552009-01-25T21:45:00.002-05:002009-01-25T21:54:43.698-05:00Night b4 jittersThis evening I finally took out the packet of "MUST READ" info from the future employer. I went through about 12 pages of paperwork and put my passport (Yeah! We found it!), a voided check (for electronic deposit), my immunization records, tax info, etc. into the folder for tomorrow. I've laid out my clothes for tomorrow morning (jump start), and put my purse, keys and the folder on the table to grab on the way out. I've thought about taking my shower tonight and blow drying my hair before bed, but I think I'll do that in the morning.<br /><br />I know that once I get established in the habit of working I'll not do ALL of this to get ready for the next day, but I do like having the clothes picked out and groomed for the upcoming day. I'm going to drink my coffee on the way to work, but they provide muffins of something tomorrow, so I won't eat my oatmeal. I will buy lunch, unless I remember to bring the apple, power bar and salad that I put in the frig.<br /><br />As a blast from the past, I got a call this evening from Matt M. from school last year. He had to repeat the clinical class again and wanted my Denver II kit for the child assessment part of the grade. What a pain. If it had been me, I would have submitted the once I did last year and not redo it, but I guess he is trying to be honest about the whole thing. And the Denver II kit has no value to me now. I guess I could try to sell it on ebay or something once Matt is done with it? I don't know. I'll figure it out somehow.<br /><br />I also got an email from my past client (x2) who wants me to attend her birth this summer. I hope I can go. It was so nice to hear from her and all the nice things she said about me. I told her I'd do my best to be there, if I can, but that I have a full time job now at the hospital. I also turned down two clients because we are not taking any new clients at the moment. Good thing, too. If only TW can have her baby this weekend coming up, I'll be a happy person. Not that she's paid the whole fee yet, but there is something nice about helping people who appreciate your work and don't tell you you are worthless and a disappointment!<br /><br />Ah well. Better get to bed so I can be fresh for the new job. I hope I don't have to have another PPD test!Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-88110996859039276372009-01-24T00:55:00.002-05:002009-01-24T01:11:49.097-05:00Last days before starting the jobToday I ran out to GMU to pick up an official copy of my transcript so I could give it to the employer. I want to qualify for the scholarship reimbursement, and that was one of the criteria. Then there was that whole matter of not finding my social security card. Did you know that you can only have 10 replacement cards in a lifetime? I mean, what then??? A new number?? "Sorry, you're outta luck?"<br /><br />The whole experience of going to the SS office was unreal. First, it was hard to locate. Then I went in the door behind someone with a baby. Okay, GET THE SS# WITH THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!! Why make a separate trip out of this? It's on the birth certificate form, just check "YES" where it asked you to and be done with it. Then an African American guard (with GUN) tells them to move to chairs "You can't stand there. Find a seat." Okay, already.<br /><br />I pushed the button to get a number, found the form, found a seat, sat, and then filled out the form. Then I waited. At one point there was no one at any of the window. That was fun. I needed to be somewhere else in an hour, so I sat and waited and observed the people in the waiting area. There were several older, retired types. The people in front of me were covered head to toe (women) obviously Muslims. Then there was the big guy with the little baby. The Chinese man helping his mother. The loud white guy who was probably a little mentally retarded. A couple of teenager type. The vast majority were not white, middle class, women. So I felt a bit outta place!<br /><br />My time was running up and the number was still about 14 from my number. Several times they called out numbers and no one got up. So they moved on to the next number. I finally realized that I was not going to be called before I needed to leave, yet this was the last day I could get this paper before Monday, so when the next number was called and no one else go up, I did. I went to the window and handed the women my form and id. She asked for my number and I mumbled that I didn't know where I put it. She didn't ask again and I didn't elaborate. This probably makes me a bad person, but I was thinking about the guy who was on the roof top during the flood praying for God to send someone to save him. Another guy comes by in a boat and asked if he wants a lift, and he declines. Then a helicopter comes by and tries to offer help, but the roof sitter waves him off. Finally the man drowns and gets to Heaven and he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" And God says, "I sent a boat and a helicopter, why didn't you take the ride?"<br /><br />I actually thought of that as I was meditating on how I would get out of that place and still meet my deadline. There were about three opportunities to take other numbers, so when I saw my chance, I grabbed it. Actually, if felt pretty good. And I only spent about 4 minutes with the woman, so hopefully I didn't hold other up too much. I figure when they got to my number, they just skipped pass and went on to the next person. So someone might have actually been grateful by that time. Who knows?<br /><br />Now I have a form that says I have a social security card and what the number is, and that my card is being processes and will be mailed shortly, in less than two weeks. Hopefully that will satisfy any employer obligations to verify enjoyability in the U.S.? I do have my VA driver's license, VA RN license and my original birth certificate from the hospital (not the state copy of it). Maybe that will do? If not, I guess I will be out of work looking again before I planned.<br /><br />Where is my Passport???? That is the other thing I will be ransacking my house for tomorrow. I have looked everywhere. I know I put it somewhere 'safe' I just can't remember where that somewhere is!!!Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-15464954075946665602009-01-18T14:36:00.002-05:002009-01-18T14:41:27.712-05:00Two offersI got another job offer on Friday. I guess I will not take it for two jobs is harder to work than one! The pay is about the same for both jobs, but I think the idea of working in the hospital is a bit better than a doc's office. I'm not sure that I'm making the right decision, but I guess I will have to deal.<br /><br />I am now waiting on an overdue baby. I just want the baby out. I feel like my whole life is waiting. I'm not good at this. I would like to know that hours I am working and work them. Then I will know when I am off and enjoy being OFF. An advantage of having a job with regular hours.<br /><br />AAudreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-35234515405003838132009-01-14T19:06:00.002-05:002009-01-14T19:12:18.207-05:00life happensI am very upset that the couple I worked 16 hours for right before Christmas have now decided they didn't like my work, and want their money back! What rubbish. I did my job and they had a great birth, but I'm sorry they didn't like my work and now are bitching about it. Why are some people so difficult to please?<br /><br />I was offered a job at Reston Hospital L&D and am planning on accepting it. I will start in two weeks. I'm happy to have a job and I hope to get my tuition reimbursed, too. I am to make a 2 year commitment in exchange for the training, etc. I hope all goes well. Unfortunately the first day of work is a school holiday, so the kids will be home and I will be at work. Most of the time they will be in school when I work, but such is life. A job at this point is a good thing. Any job.<br /><br />Alice, the midwife, called to see if dh wants to paint her house. This is nice. Mostly she knows he is out of work and wants to give the money to him rather than someone else. He will arrange to go and check it out and follow up as apporpriate. I think it would be good for him to make some money. Jobs are not being handed out like candy these days.<br /><br />I am waiting on one more client. Hopefully she will go soon and I can get this terrible taste out of my mouth. Blech! I have an inner need to please people and am not good when they are mad or upset or disappointed in me. I know I did my job, but dang it, I'd rather give the money back. But that would imply I agreed with them, which I don't. Doesn't seem like there will be any easy answers here.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-15588319562491533632008-12-23T11:28:00.002-05:002008-12-23T11:32:44.603-05:00Work, life, headachesI have a headache because I worked 16 hours at a birth yesterday and that's my life! I was trying to figure out how to get all three of those nouns into my first sentence, and still be telling the truth. I have a headache because I worked 16 hours yesterday....my life! That one works, too.<br /><br />I'm glad that birth was not on Christmas Day! Now, I just have to have those two days off....Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I hope!<br /><br />I missed a call yesterday from Arlington Co. for a nurse position I applied for last week. Bill didn't get a number. She said she'd email, but I haven't heard anything. I hope she calls back today. I don't know much about the position, so I'd like to speak with the lady...I put my minimum expected pay as enough to make the position interesting to me.... She said she'd email, but I didn't get any email from her. ARGH!!!!<br /><br />Except for not having income, I like being home. LOLAudreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-38498824488910678742008-12-14T17:38:00.003-05:002008-12-14T18:21:20.300-05:00Thoughts on why life is hardI'm tried of being tested. I would like to be done. I have finished with school and with my boards, so why can't this season be over? Okay, I admit it. I wanted to have four children. I wouldn't change that, but it is hard sometimes.<br /><br />I need a car, or some vehicle to drive so I can work and take care of my family. But I need one with a transmission that allows me to go in reverse as well as drive. Unfortunately right now I have a car that won't go backwards. Which is really a problem because I parked in the driveway. Ugh. I tried to put it into neutral, to push it out of the driveway, but I guess that is a gear that is also not going to happen on it's own. So, I guess I will have it towed (and please, don't do any more damage to the transmission while you tow it) and looked at. I don't have any money to pay for the repair, but I hope that it will not be too much (is there any reason to hope for this?)<br /><br />My mom, love her. wants to know what I want for Christmas. Right. Okay let me name it all: My son home, his attorney bills paid, his life back to some level of 'normal' as I would define that, my car working, a job, my husband working, health benefits, a clean mammogram, both daughters without back pain (oh, and a son, too), both school aged children with good, godly friends and good grades, and throw in a little happiness, enough money every month to pay all my bills, food in the kitchen, gas to run the vehicles, the crashed truck out of my driveway and out of my life, newspapers that DON'T print articles about my son on the front page telling the world of his transgressions, friends for my son who are not likely to draw him into the bad choices in life (make that for all the kids), my school loans paid off, no more search warrants for anyone in my family (or my friend, or even distant relatives), probation for my son and no more jail time, lose forty pound, no more wrinkles, only easy quick births with clients who pay on time and bring food to the births, my computers back from the fire marshal...okay, it that enough for one Christmas?Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-40260125468696228952008-12-09T09:13:00.003-05:002008-12-09T15:33:35.378-05:00From the Virginia Board of Nursing website<table><tbody><tr align="left"><th>License Number</th> <td>555#################<br /></td> </tr> <tr align="left"> <th>Occupation</th> <td>Registered Nurse</td> </tr> <tr valign="top" align="left"><th>Specialization</th><td>Multi-State Privilege (Compact Designation)</td></tr> <tr align="left"> <th>Name</th> <td>Me!!!<br /></td> </tr> <tr valign="top" align="left"> <th>Address of Record</th> <td>Centreville, VA 20120</td></tr> <tr align="left"> <th>Initial License</th> <td>12/08/2008</td> </tr> <tr align="left"> <th>Expire Date</th> <td>02/28/2010</td></tr> <tr align="left"><th>License Status</th><td>Current Active</td></tr> <tr align="left"><th>Additional Public Information<span style="color:red;">*</span></th> <td>No</td></tr></tbody></table>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-23942598678631703092008-12-09T09:10:00.002-05:002008-12-09T15:34:48.751-05:00OH YES!!!!! OH YES!!!!000555####....isn't that the sweetest number you ever did see? That is my license number as a REGISTERED NURSE in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Boy, I worked HARD FOR THAT ONE!!!!<br /><br />YYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-84706686653466267192008-12-08T09:56:00.000-05:002008-12-08T09:58:42.112-05:00No license yetI don't know if I passed or not. I will be really bummed if I didn't. I knew the info, but maybe I didn't test well? Maybe I went too fast? I just tried my best, but maybe it wasn't enough? Argh!<br /><br />I didn't have a license number this morning, which was the current update. I'm not sure how long it should take. The longer it takes, the worse it looks, from what I hear. AC called when he didn't find his name on the list (after a few days) and got the bad news he didn't pass. I'm worried, but I can't do anything about it either way. I'm going to pass eventually.....Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-58847429149105211942008-12-05T12:28:00.001-05:002008-12-05T12:31:57.088-05:00post tramatic test syndromeOkay, it's not a real syndrome, but I'm most definitely post test and it was traumatic. I thought I had more time to take the test, but then, poof! it was over. I either did well (optimistic) or terrible. I'm not sure which. There was a lot I 'felt' like I knew, and some I definitely didn't know, but I'm not sure now if I would answer it the same way as I did this morning. It is all a blurrrrrr.<br /><br />My mind is so tired and my head so weary. I just want to get away. A sunny beach would be just about right. Now. Soon? Every????<br /><br />I can find out on Monday, I think, if I passed. If I failed it will take a few more days to find out. I'm just about as uptight about it as I can be. Life goes on, though, so I guess I will too.<br /><br />It's just another day, right? If I failed, I'll just try again. I'm sure I can pass it SOMETIME in my lifetime.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8354471421164702702.post-84267577750722220112008-12-02T16:26:00.002-05:002008-12-02T16:30:24.823-05:00MammogramOkay, so I went in for the 'routine' mammogram and yesterday I got a call back from the tech who said that the radiologist wants me to come back for another look, because there was an area of density on the film (not that they use film anymore) that needed another look. Yuck. So I'm thinking, okay, except I don't have health insurance right now, or cards, or any other means to take care of it if there is a problem. So, I'm going to focus on my test this week, then focus on getting a job next week, then figure out if I have insurance, THEN go back for another look.<br /><br />I'm hopeful that it's just being super careful and there their isn't anything there to actually look at. Maybe that's too optimistic, but that's my current status. Plus, I can't deal with anything else right now. Lots of positive thoughts are needed...so send your prayers and good wishes.Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08461666934891743503noreply@blogger.com0