1-14-10

I had a post earlier this month, but who knows where it went? Like much of my life, I'm wonder where it went. I guess it is in cyberspace somewhere.LOL

Today I entered another phase of work. I attended a Magnet meeting. Evidently we will meet once a month for 2 hours for the next two years. The goal is to help the hospital get recredited as a Magnet Hospital. This is all about the nurses, as Magnet status means that we are a great place to work, with self governance, etc. What is doesn't mean is that we are well paid or well taken care of by our employer, or well treated by doctors. That would be nice. However, we do have some great doctors, I'm happy to say.

Back to the meeting. I'm not sure why I was asked to attend, participate in the meeting...new blood - that's my theory. I'm not sure how much I will want to, be able to, am willing to contribute to the process. It will make me better known in the hospital (is that good?)

To tell you the truth, I'm still often overwhelmed and scared by what I do at work. Sometimes I just feel like I don't know anything about my job and I lack the confidence to make a difference. Sometimes I feel great about what I do. If only I could get the IV's started the first time ALL the time! sigh.

Back to the meeting. Okay, it was my day off, and I had to leave at 8 to be there by 9. I was there until 11:30 and home again after 12. I'm working on the committee that helps to put the paperwork together for the magnet organization to review to see whether or not we qualify for Magnet status in 2012. We need 8 quarters of data, which means they are collecting info from the 3th and 4th quarters of 2009 and continuing on through the middle of 2011. Last time the book was 300 pages thick! Hopefully it will be shorter this time.

Interesting side note: The visitation for Magnet last time (which was the first time) was while I was a student at this hospital, so I remember it well. It's a strange thing, to have had a tiny part in it.

Anyway, one of the goals this month is to come up with a theme for the process. Since all the nurses are to be a part of this, they want something that will encourage participation. The idea of a journey has been presented. Like a nurse on rollerskates (not sure the symbolim of that?) or a train (last time it was ..."get on board") or some other mode of transportation.

My thoughts today brought me to the quote by Ghandi "You need to BE the change you wish to see in the world" I like BE THE CHANGE, but so do a lot of other organizations. This has nothing to do with transportation, but I still like it. I like lots of inspirational quotes. Seems like we could find something amoung them?

Rollerskates? "Get a roll on", "Rolling along"???

Or, the other thing I thought of was "Caring for Life" as a nursing theme....since that is what we do, who we are. Um, I was trying. We'll see what comes about for next month.

My last concern was that so much of the time we were talking about what we can do to get our overall satisfaction up at the hospital as measured by HCAPs. And I'm thinking, what is it that the #1 hospital does that we don't do (we are #131). What do they do differently from us? That is where I want to look. Can we emulate them?

So I've ordered a new book from Amazon called The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawandi. I'm interested to see what he has to say about what we do in the hospital and who we can improve our processes. Maybe next month I will bring up something from his book and pass on the idea of simply using checklists to improve outcomes? We'll see.

*S*N*O*W*

Today it snowed for the first time this winter. It was wonderful. I got to play with my camera a little bit, too. I did have to drive B to work, which sucked, as I was getting sploshed from all the other cars, and I was almost out of gas, and when I filled up at the gas station I had to wait in line, and on the way back I almosted skidded into another car. But I got home safely.

I have some photos I posted on Facebook. Here is one I like, or not. I'm not having any success uploading the photos right now. I'll try later (or not).

I have now completed 7 credits in my MSN program. Yee Haw! I have 6 more to complete before the end of the month. That means one BIG paper (about 1/2 done) and one more proctored test. I got my webcam up and running today, which is why I got the test done. I'm hoping to take the other test next week (please God). Then finish the paper and submit my paperwork for reimbursement at work. That will help!

On the sadder side of things, my good friend A.S. had to have his arm and shoulder amputated because of cancer. Just too hard to think about much. M.C. called to see if I knew anything about job openings at my hospital. We could use a good labor nurse, but she is used to making a whole lot more money than we pay. It would be great to see her again, though.

The fam and I watched Jumper on Netflix yesterday. Cool movie. I am looking forward to reading the books (if I get the chance!)

I'm on nights the beginning of next week. Bummer. But at least I have some days off. I hope to get a couple of short shifts in for baby nurse, or a home birth or two to cover the expenses from new glasses and new tires for the car. Why is everything so expensive? Why are there no jobs for the men in my house?

Tues

LONG day at work. I was baby nurse for 5 babies, but I was working with one primary labor pt (who delivered about 5:30 pm, one antepartum (trying not to deliver until Thurs), as well as watching another pt for someone who was pushing for a couple of hours and needed eyes on their pt for awhile. LONG day!

Oh, and I trouble shot the accudose computer when it screwed up. No lunch. 13 hours straight. I worked hard and I did will. Mostly I didn't forget too much (or I haven't remembered yet if I forgot anything).

And I'm not working tomorrow!!!!! Yippee!!

Pretty much no time to sit and do anything the whole day, just run, run, run. My lips are chapped (don't know who that fits into this, but I am thinking it comes from either not drinking enough or just having such a dry environment???)

Oh, I'm going to bed now. '-O (yawn)

November

In a perfect world....

...my husband would not still be unemployed

....my work schedule would never be more than 2 days a week

...I could still be in BirthPartners attending home and BC births

...I would weigh a lot less

...my husband would make enough money that we could pay our bills

...no cars would ever need new tires, new transmissions, new points (or I could just buy a new car when all those things need to be replaces!)

...my house would be clean

...I would eat salads everyday and enjoy them!

...I would win in Scrabble every once in a while

...Christmas would be in the summer, when there is more daylight in the day

...being older wouldn't mean that I have to get stronger and stronger glasses

...I could still go to yoga classes once or twice a week

...my kids would get all A's every semester (and no D+s)

...I would not be in school, except to teach, and I'd love my students/classes/peers/boss

Okay, that's enough to today

October update

I hate working nights! It's hard to stay awake night after night and then, when I do get home, all I do is SLEEP!

I worked 3 nights last week, and a fourth if you count the lovely homebirth prior to the first 12 hour night shift. Okay, I slept most of yesterday and a large chunk of today. I'm done with sleeping for now, but I have so much work to catch up on.

Like finding my phone. Um, opps!

And then there is the test I was suppose to take for my Nursing Theory class, which I failed the pretest for, twice. Can we say ouch! "OUCH!"

I'm not a stupid person. Really, I'm not. I have a fairly high IQ and I understand the basics of learning...so how come I can't pass the learning theory portion of this test? I hate this.

I hate a lot of my life right now, but I guess that is just complaining, so I'll stop.

I miss the home school, home birth, time on my hands days of the past. I miss being able to plan my day and having some control over my life. I miss having a husband who works and kids who are home. I miss the 'ideal' homelife...which never was true to begin with, but I miss the thought of it. I don't even dream of the ideal any more. I just don't dream much at all. Mostly, I just work and recover from working. I clean when I can. I shop for food and cook when I'm home. I lament what is lost and try to embrace what is here now.

I also miss my bud.

My dd N moved to Norfolk. My ds B is now on such a good track that I'm amazed and stupified. Just lacking a job, but all other areas of his life as so on the right path that I'm confident the rest will fall into place soon. This is one HUGE burden lifted (somewhat!)

I am wishing that my dh would find steady work. I have almost given up all hope of this, but I'm trying to believe that things will change, someday. Soon. Please!

With that, I will end. So much for October 2009.