How do I cope?

Things are not looking good for B. Evidently he may/may not have been involved with setting a car on fire. Whatever the outcome, I am having a hard time dealing with it. It's not about me, I know, but it is very difficult to imagine the turn in his life. Choices are so important!!! I won't find out more about the whole mess until later. One of the 'friends' told me that he (the friend) is being charged with felony arson which carries a penalty of 2-10 years in prison. I'm not sure what B is going to be charged with (if anything). It doesn't look good, that's all I can say about it now. I don't want to talk about it, either.

I'm trying to study for my boards. My test is Nov 5th. Day after the election. Can't say that I'm terribly excited about it. I suppose I'll vote, but I'm not encouraged!

I'm trying to only believe that which is true, right, good, just, honorable, pure. But it's hard. I know I've judged other parents for their kids choices, and I know other will judge me. I can't say why or what or how any of this happened. It is hard not to blame myself, but I know in my heart of hearts that I am not responsible for his choices. He could have stood up for what is right, made better choices, not be involved in any way. He is in a better place right now, emotionally, spiritually, but he won't have the same options opened to him he would have had if none of this had happened! He said he was going to be different. Well, I guess he'll have time to figure all of that out. I don't know if he'll end up coming home before going back or not. Just a very sad day.